I made a choice not too long ago that I didn’t want to have to learn things the hard way anymore. In the past I have not always been able to take the hints the Universe gives me and adjust accordingly. I tend to have to wait until the Universe throws boulders my way and then I panic and run. Now I try to be aware of good advice around me and opportunities to experience life lessons in a much kinder manner when possible.
When I started blogging I thought I would be smart and read all the advice out there about blogging and it really did help in many ways. I have been blogging in private communities so I was not a total newbie when I started Living a Balanced Life which developed into Graceful Balance. I was very new though to many concepts such as SEO, traffic building and the like. So I paid attention to all this great advice and started to implement it as I went along.
At one point though I stopped and thought about it. Then I went and looked at the blogs I adore, the blogs that inspire me to share and grow in the online community. Quite a few of those bloggers were not following the formulas to success that I had been perusing and yet their sites are doing wonderfully and compel me to visit repeatedly. This made me think about what the blogs that really turn me on have in common. This is what I discovered.
Each blog has a very clear personality.
I can go to that page and instantly a mood is set from both the design and the bits of content found on home page.
Each blog has a passionate voice.
The writers I enjoy have such enthusiasm and really believe in what they are saying. I never feel like I get a filler post from them. I would rather you give me a cheesy sales pitch with heart behind it than a handful of words just because Wednesday is when you normally post.
Each blog takes risks of some kind.
Some are more unusual in appearance while others aren’t tailored specifically for one niche. They are unapologetically unique while not obviously trying too hard to be so. They delve into touchy subjects with a light hand and a compassionate approach.
Each blog radiates warmth.
I want to know the author. I would love to sit at a coffee shop and ask questions until they pat me on the head and shoo me away. They show a generosity of spirit in their posts and comments and have contact information available on the site.
It just makes me think that I can apply all the blogging advice out there, and I am sure much of it would be of benefit, or I can focus on the blogging techniques and lessons I learn based on where I want my site to go and be aware of how those before me reached that same place. It makes me willing to be cool with not doing things exactly how it is advised but, knowing in the interest of not learning the hard way anymore, that all advice is considered. It’s just not applied in blanket fashion but more tailored to who I am as an individual and who I am as a writer and communicator regarding balanced living.
There are some blogs out there that are so formulaic that I don’t even really focus when my eyes hit the pages. It’s as if my heart can sense a “cloning” of sorts with these blogs and I am not enticed to hang out at those pages. I’d rather read a blog with awesome content that doesn’t follow a single blogging “rule” than to land on a page that does it all correctly and yet feels like any monkey with index fingers could have composed it.
People crave connection and a sense of belonging. They crave to know they are not alone in their problems and are heard and understood. They want information delivered in an engaging fashion that comes from a place of truth and can have an impact on their lives. They yearn to be treated with respect as a reader and a visitor to your online home. They want an experience of value.
So I will listen to all the advice on blogging there is. I will search down deep and see what resonates with me, what the advice would look like in action, how it would affect the site’s mood and atmosphere, and how it will leave me and my reader feeling. I won’t take advice simply because I am afraid of being wrong or not following along but I will be open and willing to objectively listen to as much of it as I can while reacting to it from a more intuitive place than a practical one because that’s what works for me.
If you came to my house for dinner I would not feed you a frozen lasagna someone recommended without trying it beforehand. I would instead present something from the heart, carefully considered, and created with the intent of sharing a moment from a soulful honest place. Bon Appetit.
Thoughts to ponder: Do you follow advice just because it is there? Does your own intuition matter as much as what a stranger says? Do you have sources of excellent advice and are you willing to listen?
I think the most striking thing about the design of your blog is your photo, You have an amazing smile and very welcoming eyes.
Tess The Bold Life recently posted..Happy 40th Birthday! @JaneBeNimble
Thanks so much, Tess. I am certainly smiling now!
Hi Emma,
This post offers a clear voice, brimming over with sanity. Thanks for putting some of my own thoughts into words.
Love, Gail
Gail,
Thank you for getting where I was coming from. It wasn’t the easiest post to put into words but I am now glad I did.
Love, Em
Emma,
You are making me hungry!! (hint: dinner sounds GREAT!!)
Blogging has been a journey for me. A journey that started by thinking I had to post something three times a week, and on certain days. What I found, though – is that I can’t just write (well…write from the heart) and have it all happen on some pre-determined day. So…I’m with you. This is about what feels right to each of us, individually.
And…just so you know…I really believe that what you share here is meaningful and spoken very deeply from you (and I love that…)…
Lance recently posted..You’re Beautiful!…Yes- YOU!
*lol* If you ever came to dinner I could certainly do better than the frozen lasagna action. I am so glad you have found your way of doing this all. That makes your blog a HUGE success in my eyes right there.
Thanks for seeing me in my words. You have a way of making people feel very good about themselves.
Over the last week or so I’ve been pondering what it is about “my favorite blogs” the ones that I just keep returning to and reading even when I don’t have time. – as I read your words, it helps me figure out what “it” is about the special blogs.
Aileen recently posted..3 Building Blocks to Success
Isn’t it amazing how downright magnetic some blogs are? That’s what I am into studying and learning about in a big way. I am glad this blog helped you in doing that too.
Emma, I so relate to this. There are blogs I simply adore and it’s always because they’re a bit off the beaten path, and ‘the lights are on and someone’s at home.’ Even then, I do what you do in terms of advice. I take some and leave some depending on what feels right to me. One size never fits all.
Jean Sarauer recently posted..Making Your Personality Shine Through Your Blog
You are one of the bloggers I admire for having their lights on! It always feels hopping on your page. There’s an energy there…like a kitchen with the front door open and people stoppin’ by for muffins. *lol* Here’s to being true to size…our own size.
hello cc,
how are you?
you’ve touched on a lot of things that has been on my mind and can i say a big THANK YOU.
when i started blogging in july09, i spent so much money trying to get seo experts, article submitters, links…… i got my fingers burnt in doing so and then i decided to just be me and do me even if it takes time.
as i go through the blogging journey i’ve come across other blogs that have either helped in modifying my blog or just been so welcoming and filled with knowledge and i just come back for more
take care of yourself and have a lovely day
It sounds like you have had the same kind of experiences as me in that once you relax and go with your flow, you start running across things that inspire and help. By the way, your blog does that for me!
You are very welcome, Ayo…and a big thanks to you for being a blogging star in my book.
Emma…. Oh yes, I am a firm believer in making up our own rules in blogging, in business, in life! That’s really the only way that our unique take on things shines through and our voice is authentic and pure, and perhaps a bit sassy. I find that as soon as we try to be like everybody else, or try to do everything right or perfectly, we loose that oomph…
Lisa recently posted..The body knows…
Oh heck yea, a big hooray for sass and a writing voice that comes from deep inside. As for rules…I am pretty darn good at bending them and I have a feeling you are too. *winks*
Thanks so much for coming by, Lisa. Your comment is super duper appreciated here.
Emma,
what a wonderful post! I must admit that I am not into following any advice that I read online. I also have to feel the connection with blogger in order to read the article and later on to use the example from it. There are some big blogs that sit in my reader but I can never make myself read them. Sometimes the voice of the blog just does not resonate with me (even though it is a highly popular blog), sometimes I just do not feel like the person is sincere.
I agree that we all need balance, and all sources of information or energy that we use must be in balance with our inner self.
Anastasiya recently posted..The Barefoot Romance- Going from Hatred to Love in Just 1 Month
Thanks so much for coming by, Anastasiya!
I too have those big blogs on my reader and feel like I “should” read them but often skip off to some groovy blog that’s sharing cool stuff in cool ways. I do balance that out with making sure I educate myself in my field, I just like to try things on for size and not get in line and try the next new thing from some sense of “should”.
Hi Emma,
I like your writer voice and that you’re not afraid to be goofy when you feel like it. You’re welcoming and sincere, and it draws me back to you blog every time. Your blogging journey sounds a lot like mine. I’m happy with where I’m at and it seems like you are, too. Shaka that!
Keep up the great work! (Thanks, again, for coming to the celebration. It meant a lot to me.)
~xo
Lori recently posted..LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
Aww…thank you, thank you for the kindness in this comment…and i shooka! *lol* When I first started reading about blogging I read some advice that said keep your personal voice out of your posts. Can you imagine? Why bother then? Pfft. I like finding real people like you and so many of the other commenters that have visited this post.
Keep on celebratin’. There’s always a reason!!!
Emma – your headline really hit the nail on the head; like most things in life, blogging effectively comes down to finding a balance between taking tried and true advice that’s working for others while putting your own, personal touch on your design, posts, etc. Great post!
Jimmy @ Run, Jimmy, Run recently posted..Turnin’ Up the Juice- Couch to 5K – W2D2
Hey there, Jimmy! Welcome back and thanks for chiming in. I agree with you…it’s that combo of knowledge and flair that makes for engaging reading and design. Going too extreme in either direction is just asking to learn the hard way.
Your insight into the blogs YOU like is also great insight into the things that good blogs really need to thrive. You really have some excellent points.
I liked your graphic a lot too. For some reason it make me think of Lucy’s “advice booth” from the old ‘Peanuts ‘ cartoon. Which of course made me chuckle and did #4 for your blog (radiated warmth)
Thanks,
Steve
Steve recently posted..12 Videos that Make You Want to Explore the World
Welcome, Steve. It’s good to have you here for a visit.
I thought of the Snoopy thing too. *lol* It actually made me think Charles Shultz would have made a fine blogger. I was lucky enough to have met him a few times and he really knew how to follow his intuition!
I’m glad you found a smile here today and thanks so much for letting me know that.
I love that you shared your thoughts on this. Advice is great, the key is to be able to apply wisdom to the knowledge we receive. I operate on intuition the majority of the time. I know that if I trust my intuition that I really can’t go wrong as long as the voice is truly intuitive and not my ego trying to fake it. Blogging for me is a way to express my thoughts and to learn from those who take time to comment. Blogging has truly been a blessing in my life.
Mark recently posted..Searching for Yourself
*smiles* Hello, Mark.
Your blog is a fine example of a place that has warmth, fabulous info, and heart….a great, big heart. You have always treated me wonderfully and each visitor gets that same treatment.
Thanks for being a great example of how blogging can work to satisfy writer and reader too….and thanks for your kindness and your comments which never fail to make me smile.
May love embrace you always.
Balance comes from knowing everything will happen when it’s suppose to. And today we can either work our butts off. Or mix time with the kids with the dream of being the greatest entertainer alive in music.
It comes from balancing out the highs and the lows and making sure, the highs are more prominent than the lows.
Thanks for adding your insight here. Balance is definitely something to strive for.
Great post! I think one of the best things about blogging is that you can make it completely your own and shape it how you want! (I just wish I knew more about computers so my visions could really come through
Simply Life recently posted..Perfected Marinara & Brat Hans GIVEAWAY!
*lol* I am with you on that last part but the other great part about blogging is always learning something new too!
Thank you for sharing this meaningful advice .. the words you chose to explain this were wonderful.
I used to feel pressure to keep fresh posts up all the time … now, I realize that I really have to have something to specific to share, a meaningful or thoughtful idea to express or a desire to start a conversation to make the post worthy of the time people give to read it and comment on it …
Bearyweather recently posted..End of Summer Affliction
and thank you for the lovely compliment! I feel the same about really wanting to post as opposed to just getting something published on any given day. Luckily, I have LOTS to say. *lol*
Hi Clearly Composed,
I so enjoyed this post. It has my name written all over it. I just recently had to cut ties, regroup and follow my heart and I am glad I did. No longer am I concerned with numbers and stats, because they really don’t matter. What matters most to me is writing quality content from my heart that readers will enjoy and connecting with my readers. Like Ayo, I’ve decided to take it slow and be myself. Be where I really want to be and enjoy on the people and blogs that I enjoy.
I have followed advice just because, but realized later that it really wasn’t for me. Now, I always do what works best for me and stick with it.
Take care,
Evelyn
Evelyn recently posted..Always Follow Your First Mind
Welcome, Evelyn and thanks for taking the time to share your experience here.
I think you spoke to a good point in that bloggers want the connection just as much as the readers do. Here’s to marching to the beat of your own drum.
All the best to you!